I am brave

Yesterday I turned 32! Something about that number seems world away from 31. For the first time in my life I feel old. And yet, I am still so clueless. Here I am wandering around New Zealand after having my heart broken. I've spent the last six months trying to mend and trying to figure out what next. Mixed up in that whole process I've realized I really need to do some renovation on my thoughts about myself.
Lying on the beach today(I know, it's a tough life) I came up with a plan. I'll start a journal/blog and document ONLY the things I actually like about myself. This won't be a place for self criticisms. This will be a place for focusing on what I actually like in myself. I don't know about you but I find it easy to criticize myself. I find it easy to see my faults. I could tell you so very many things I don't like about myself. Some of them pretty fundamental. But what do I like about myself? Well let's find out.
So here it is. One year of things I actually like about myself. Starting now!

I am brave!
It's true, I am brave. I'm braver than I think, and I ve fought myself through many a fear to reach the place I am today. Every day I face major and crippling fear and I stand tall and purserver. I have major social anxiety, and I have my whole life. Every social interaction, educational step, every dropped off  resume, every job interview, every career move, every apartment search, every phone call... Each and everyone of these things has been an immense personal battle for me. And yes, I've lost a few., I've  chickened out of a few., and I've flopped soo many. But in the end, every bit of progress I've made represents a huge battle, and a huge amount of courage. I've fought hard and I've been brave. I am brave.